So today I just had really good luck to find out that I was being cheated on. I didn't find out through the grape vine or one of my friends seeing my gf at some club with another guy. I had no idea what was going to happen today. When I woke up all I wanted was to see my baby and that's it. I was in class and text'd her asking if she wanted to go have lunch/dinner when she got out of work. Then I totally forgot she didn't have a car. So being the nice guy I am I went and picked her up from work. WEEEEEE for remembering that she doesn't get out at 3:30 anymore. So there I am waiting for like 2 hours outside. So I'm really really happy to see her but for some reason she's acting really weird with me. She's been like this for the past week and it's been getting me upset and really weirded out.

So we go eat at one of those cool Mexican places I always rave on about and we sat down. Wait...wait...wait... I forgot. We went to her house first cause her mom had made some food and we were just gonna eat that instead. But she saw how I was all bummed out and stuff so I guess she decided to go eat instead. How I wish she would have just let us eat there now. So on the walk to my truck I noticed she was really really weird. Like acting kind of bothered. And I've been with my gf for a long long time, of course I'm going to know something is up. I ask her and she just tells me not to worry about it and that she'll tell me after we eat. So I'm like wtf. Just let it out, you're already sending signals showing how bothered you are. Why do I wanna be with you if you're going to act like this.


So anyways.... to make a long story short. She told me she had been with another guy the past week and that she didn't really love me as much as I loved her. She was only with me because she cared for me a lot. Doesn't that sound like total BS?
If I really cared for someone I would never hurt them. EVEN if I didn't want to hang out/be with them anymore. She started off her argument on why we shouldn't be together anymore because of the fact that I push her to get her papers fixed so she could come to the USA. I told her that never really bothered me and she knew that too. I just wanted her to get off her lazy ass and do something about her papers. She likes to shop over here and like yesterday, her mom had problems with her car and she could have helped if she was able to go over. I told her I never complained about her not getting papers. So I debunked that excuse about her wanting to break up with me. I think she was trying to come up with excuses so that in her head she could tell herself that it wasn't going to work out anyways because she fucked up and she tried to hide that fact with making me the one to be at fault.
She even told me I'm not spontaneous enough. WHAT THE HELL. Everyone I know says I'm weird and crazy for doing stuff out of the blue. I remember going to her house right after class and i'd wait for her to arrive from work. I'd see her car drive into her street and as soon as i saw her face, she'd have this huge smile. She wasn't expecting me to be there at her house before she got home. I would think stuff like that would count as being spontaneous (although i admit that's not as random as I used to be with her in El Paso). If my gf wasn't so boring I think we would have been doing crazy things over in Mexico. I don't really know that place as well as I do my city so how the hell am I supposed to do as many crazy things as I would in my hometown. When she used to live here in El Paso is was alot easier to do random things because she was here and we could do whatever we wanted to do. I remember once, we snuck into some high school pretending we were students. The people would ask us for passes and we'd be like, "RUN!" She's never done anything like that since she's been living in Mexico.
So there she is telling me all this stuff and I know she wants to break up with me, but then she just drops the bomb and tells me yeah I was with another guy. Immediately in my head I can just see her all slutty trying to get free drinks just the way some of her friends tend to do (from what she's told me anyways, that's how they get to go out to clubs and bars without paying). But what really pissed me off and annoyed me was the fact that her morals and standards just went out the window.

Since we started dating, she's always told me how she wanted her relationships to be all sacred and stuff. Like if I was going out with this girl then that's who I would dedicate my time and life too, no one else. That moral or ideal or whatever it was to her is no longer there. She just wanted to think in her head that she was one of those nice girls I guess. I think her selfishness had taken over and she just wanted to make herself happy. How the hell do you have the right to complain about anything if you haven't even put any effort into fixing that stuff. Of course she's gonna say, but I've been trying to fix my jealousy and also that other thing. But you're not complaining about those things. I just sort of feel bad for her now. Since high school she wasn't even able to graduate with our class. I can't see her getting a super nice career and sticking to it. Yes I'm pissed right now so I'm going to say mean things sorry. I picture this girl either staying at home with her mom the way it is now, getting some rich guy to pay for everything so she doesn't really have to get a career, or just moving in with a friend in another city struggling and finally seeing how hard it is to be on your own and not having the boyfriend or mom do everything for you. I guess I'm the real idiot for seeing how she was really going no where in life and sticking by her side no matter what. But then again love is that powerful i guess. Too me, my perfect life would have been living with the one i truely deeply love and that's it. Having enough to have a roof over your head and some food on the table would have been enough to keep me happy as long as i had that one girl by my side at all times and that i could count on no matter what. I actually wanted to be the guy to take care of her whether if we were poor or well off. I would have been happy because she was going to be the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

I guess when you see how good people can be you have these expectations that they'll be like that with you all the time. I've been proven wrong before and this is another experience to add to that list.

It's funny how so much love for a person can turn into this big ball of hate within a second.

I just hope I don't see her tomorrow at the club we're going to since we already got a table at Don Quintin.

good riddance